The Conditions

“Italian Pizza” by Alexandra Stroescu

These are all 100% totally selfish.

The Conditions

The Conditions are those items, necessities, objects and circumstances that maximize my efficiency and optimize my lifestyle.

Yes, they are totally, 100% selfish — and I make no apologies for that.

I don’t have all of these yet.

Some — many — I had when I was in Massachusetts, but some were simply unreachable and unattainable in Mass., notably — the weather.

Cold? 8 months a year? Yeah, cold always 5 or 6 months in fall, winter and spring, and up to 8 months a year some years.

I Hate the cold.

And I hate ice, snow, freezing rain, shoveling, shoveling and shoveling.

Did I mention shoveling?

So, except for a handful of items — enough to make me want to change locales, I had it pretty good in North Brookfield, but several glaring items could not be attained: true love — like a Hollywood movie type love. Yeah, got that now.

Year-round warmth — got that now too — but way too humid here (Oh, did I mention I hate humidity?)

So I am guessing change 3.0 is coming soon.

AND. Possibly sooner rather than later if my fiancee reads this list…..

I’m guessing that with a little time and focus and some dedicated effort, I will probably be able to achieve nearly all of these except where one may contradict another. (Hmmm, something to figure out).

( I did have many of these in Massachusetts after several years of putting all these things together).

Anyway, here are the Conditions:

• True Love — like Hollywood movie like love. Check!
• Warm year-round — Check.
• Low or no humidity
• No kids — (I love my kids — all 4 of them — I just don’t need them around me 24/7, so I’m thinking “out of sight, out of mind,” may be the preferred option— at least for now). This goes toward Privacy — see below. (Clarification — See at end)
• No pets — (sorry, maybe I’m just getting old, but, although I LOVE my pets, I am choosing to opt out. Maybe that will change again, but for now, my Condition is: No pets.) This also goes toward Privacy
• Cable TV, preferably with Hulu, Netflix, Prime video and others
• TV— flat screen 40" or larger — (What good is cable without the TV? Right?)(And I don’t need a Big TV, 40 inches is plenty big enough for me)
• Reliable, almost never goes out electricity
• Car — decent car in top running order with enough gas to keep it going
• AAA — or similar onsite/mobile car fix-’em-up service
• No house (unless it’s leased). Right? I never did like a house — too much maintenance, too much upkeep, everything — something — always needs cleaning or repair — no, I’ll take a condo, an apartment or a leased house (like I had in Tempe and Scottsdale where the landlord took care of the details).
• AC-gotta have AC if I’m living in a hot and/or humid climate (but no humidity — see above)
• Heating — in the event of a chill spell, I need the heat
• Desk
• Chair for desk
• Folding table/desk
• Internet
• Computers — 4 or 5 including a gaming computer — whether desktop or laptop is okay
• Printer/copier
• Cell phone — maybe 2 or 3
• City — Must live in the city. I want to be able to walk no more than 10 or 15 minutes to a good restaurant, a mall, grocery store, fast food restaurant, convenience store, etc.
• Hospital — preferably VA hospital, but that would mean living in the US which I may be steering away from.
• Access and/or transportation to and from the hospital
• Barber shop — for haircuts
• Straight razor shave, 1x a month (If you’re a man and you haven’t had a straight-razor shave — you don’t know what you are missing!)
• Karaoke bar
• Bar
• Sports bar
• Pub with good pub food
• Mall with 100+ stores
• Seaport
• Sand beaches
• Boardwalk with shops and stores and restaurants
• Maritime living
• Several decent hotels — Hey, I like visiting hotel bars and lobbies and admiring the architecture
• International airport
• Private jet
• No religion
• No church — Yes, I believe in God and I study my Bible daily, but churches are often — TOO often — man-made rituals, orchestrations and infringes on my privacy, which brings me to…
• Privacy — I just want to be left alone, okay? Don’t intrude on my space and I won’t intrude on yours. Deal? This is why “no kids” and “no pets” make the list. I don’t like people within my “space,” which could be as much as 20 foot radius sometimes. And Never, and I do mean NEVER enter my room if I am in it (without knocking first). And Never when I am not.
• No hoarding
• No clutter
• No drama
• Peace and quiet
• Respect

Desk items

• Drafting supplies
• Pens
• Pencils
• Erasers
• Calculator
• Paper
• Notebooks
• Sketch pads
• Ruler
• Scales — Engineering and Architecture
• Paper for printer
• Ink for printer
• Filing cabinets
• Hanging file systems
• File folders

Toiletries

• Tissues
• Deodorant
• Toothpaste
• Soap
• Shampoo
• Body wash
• TP
• Skin lotion
• Face lotion
• Heated bathroom
• Running hot and cold water
• Working toilet
• Bidet
• Nice razor

Household Items

• Bed
• Sofa
• Kitchen table
• Chairs for kitchen table
• Easy chairs for living room
• Bookshelves (Lots of bookshelves)
• Books
• Bibles
• Maps
• Microwave
• Stove
• Refrigerator
• Lamps
• Candles
• Washer
• Dryer
• Garbage disposal
• Dishwasher
• Toaster
• Air convection oven
• Stereo
• TV surround sound system
• Wooden rocking chair
• Trash cans
• Cabinets (kitchen cabinets)

Nearby — Within walking distance

• Restaurants
• Beaches
• Park
• Bars
• Al fresco dining options
• Al fresco bar options
• Shops
• Stores
• Grocery store
• Mall
• Big box store
• Bus stop
• Taxi stand
• Cinema
• Fast food
• Denny’s
• Burger King
• Steakhouse
• Mexican restaurant
• Vietnamese restaurant
• Chinese restaurant
• Mediterranean restaurant
• Irish pub
• English pub
• Sea food restaurant

Food

• Pizza
• Steak
• Steak tips
• Fish
• Fish and chips
• Spaghetti
• Hamburgers
• Hot dogs
• Chicken wings
• Chicken tenders
• Cereal
• Milk
• Coke
• Seven-Up
• Root beer
• Fruit juice
• Gatorade
• Bottled water
• Burrito
• Pancakes
• French toast
• Apples
• Oranges
• Nectarines
• Grapes
• Cherries
• Bananas
• Peaches
• Plums
• Other fruit
• Lettuce
• Carrots
• Vegetables
• Hot pastrami sandwich
• French dip
• Burritos
• Bagels
• Donuts
• Baked potato
• Pork chops
• Toast
• English muffin
• Reuben on rye
• Soups
• Corn on the cob
• Pop Tarts
• Cookies
• Candies
• Snacks
• Potato chips
• Beef jerky
• Spices
• Salt, pepper, brown sugar
• Spaghetti sauce
• Ice cream
• Iced coffee
• Other munchies

Miscellaneous

• Enough money to make all this work
• 5 credit cards paid up each month
• 2 debit cards
• 2 store cards paid up each month
• No outstanding bills from previous month
• No debts
• No loans
• Massage 1x a month
• Exfoliation 1x a month
• Salt bath treatment 1x every two months
• Nice clothes
• Nice slacks
• Nice shirts
• Cowboy boots
• Nice shoes (Italian handmade leather shoes)
• Running shoes
• Work-out (gym) shoes
• Sandals
• Jeans
• Shorts
• Jackets
• Sweatshirts
• Luggage
• Brief case
• Bookbag (backpack)
• Backpack for hiking
• Fanny pack
• Lawn chairs
• Stools (Indoor and outdoor)
• Anything else? Did I forget anything? What would be on your list?

I suppose that about sums it up for me, but if you notice anything I have overlooked or you want to know why I would include that! — just let me know.

Or if you want to tell me something you would include for me, tell me.

Maybe next I will make a list of specific books.

********

“No kids” Clarification

Let me explain before you get all weird on me.

I love my kids, all 4 of them.

Back in Massachusetts, my daughter and I had — in my opinion — an ideal relationship.

She was (and is) an adult, and she acted like one.

She didn’t intrude on my space, she respected my privacy and she always knocked on my door when she had a question or just wanted to talk or wanted to go for a drive.

She almost Never entered my room; she would stand in the doorway and talk to me.

Every day we would spend an hour or so in the afternoon together, whether we went to get an iced coffee at McDonald’s or we just drove around chatting.

Every 2 or 3 months we would do something special for the day, like go to Newport (Rhode Island), Boston, Northampton, Mass. or to New York City.

New York we would get to only once or twice a year, Boston maybe 3 or 4 times and Newport or Northampton usually two or three times a year.

That’s the kind of relationship from my kids I want, that’s what I need and that’s what I want again.

All I want is some space — which in my world means allow me my privacy.