Self-Destruction | Day 23: 100 Day Challenge: Zero to $10k a Day
Day 23
Self-Destruction
Repugnance
It seems I have a repugnance toward making money online.
And improving myself in many ways.
But before we get into that, let’s take a step back.
I don’t remember the question I asked myself before I fell asleep last night.
But this morning as I awoke, I attempted to go into an alpha meditation as I try to do every morning for the last couple of months or so.
It doesn’t always work, but today, it did.
The next thing I knew, this whole long “speech” or whatever was rolling through my mind, so I will attempt to recall it and recapture all that was “said,” here.
So, Repugnance.
It seems I have some sort of repugnance toward improving myself or making money online.
I guess that stems from my mom when I was growing up who said I would ‘never amount to anything,” that I was “no good,” and “worthless,” and then she would affirm those statements by her actions. That really brought the matter home and, evidently, they have been lodged in my heart and subconscious ever since.
She also had these things to say about money.
She said that only “criminals make money,” that “good people don’t get rich,” “only gangsters get rich,” “if you’re rich you must be in the Mafia,” “only the Mafia ride in limousines.” etc.
Well. Okay.
Those words seem to have stuck somehow, because the few times I’ve made money, it has always evaporated eventually.
And of the many times I have tried to make a life changing step for the betterment of myself, well, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.
But things have always reverted back to “normal,” eventually.
The problem is, that “normal” keeps getting worse and worse as far as finances are concerned.
But that’s odd.
My mom also would always say how stupid I was.
That Did Not stick.
Why?
I guess I “knew” somehow, that she was wrong and that I was smart.
So being called stupid never affected me. I knew I wasn’t.
I mean, even at age 7, I could run intellectual rings around her — and not to discriminate — but around everyone else too — for the most part — not always — and not with everyone and not all the time. But I always knew I was smart and I was able to prove it over and over again, at least to myself.
So being called stupid didn’t “take” the way all those other things did.
As a result, it seems I have two tracks running in my head simultaneously.
One: Self-destruction.
Two: Poverty
Anytime I seem to get ahead, my self-destructive nature goes into action and knocks me back to where I was.
There have been exceptions to this.
One is in Arizona, we’ll get to that later.
And also whenever I have a clear image of something I want to do — the end result.
In my book, I say that getting rich is 90% psychology and 10% technique.
I’ve met and talked to others and read their books and watched their videos and they generally say it’s about 80% psychology and 20% technique, but if you’re like me, it’s definitely 90% psychology.
Look at it this way.
Most likely you already know the general outlines of what it means to get rich and how to do it.
“Make money. Save money. Invest money.”
We lack the details, but we could figure that out — probably.
Getting rich is not about what to do — or even how to do it, we could most likely figure that out.
Getting rich is mostly about believing that we can.
To me it’s similar to “faith.”
And yes, I mean the church type of faith.
I have been fortunate enough to have traveled from coast to coast, live in Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Worcester and North Brookfield, and attended dozens of churches from several different denominations and religions.
I have even witnessed a miracle or two here and there — including myself.
One thing I’ve noticed is that “faith” is not what you think it is.
Faith is not about God, it is not believing in God and it does not come from God.
The Bible does not even say that.
The Bible says that faith is “believing in what you hope for and being certain of what you do not see.”
That’s a pretty fair definition.
Faith has nothing to do with God or religion.
Faith has everything to do with your own belief systems.
A powerful faith in a thing is what makes that thing happen.
The Bible says that Jesus could do no miracles in his hometown of Nazareth, because no one believed him. They all knew he was Joseph and Mary’s son and that his mother, brothers and sisters were all still living there and everyone knew them.
So faith has two components.
One internal, and one external.
So too is getting rich.
I call this environment.
Environment is that which surrounds you.
It is where you live, your habits and likes, your daily routine, the things and accessories of life you surround yourself with and even the friends you have.
All these things define you.
All these things confine you.
You can’t break free of your past without changing your environment — and, you must also change your internal environment — your belief states.
Fortunately, Chris Duncan has a way of doing that.
Unfortunately, because of being living, animate beings, our belief states — if we even acknowledge them — are literally hardwired into us, they are coded into our brain.
Fortunately, we can change them, but not without consistent, arduous exercise — like the alpha meditation I mentioned earlier.
Chris Duncan says it averages a year of daily practice to recode our belief states to support the lifestyle we seek to create.
A year!
Ugh! What have I got myself into?
But if that’s what it takes, then a year from now, I’ll be looking Preetty Good! Haha!
I am currently on a 100 day journey.
I challenged myself to go from zero to $10k a day in 100 days.
I still don’t know if I can do it or not, that’s why I am doing this.
To challenge myself, to break free from the past — past financial failures and discover those beliefs that no longer serve me.
Which brings me back to a statement I made earlier.
I have occasionally made changes — improvements- in my life that have stuck, that have succeeded.
I think part of the question I asked myself last night as I was falling asleep was why do some things work and others do not?
Like this: “100 Day Challenge: Zero to $10k a Day,” using no money.
I hate that statement.
But I won’t change it.
I won’t change it Because I hate it which means it’s arousing some deep seated emotions.
And it is those emotions that are generated by equally deep seated belief states — that I have to identify and “recode” if I ever want to generate that new reality I want for myself. I have to change and “recode” my belief states.
$10k a Day.
Wow! Such an adventure. Such turmoil. Such Pressure!
But other people do this. Every day!
Chris Duncan said something else.
It’s not about the money. Money is just a metric we use to measure how much value we give to people.
Okay, I’m beginning to get there.
The Bible says that there are several gifts that God has apportioned to people.
One of these gifts is the gift of “Helps.”
That’s me. But I’ve never used it. Well, rarely.
Using it seems to me like I’m avoiding the real issue of whatever is going on. I feel like I’m sidestepping into a “safety zone” when the real trauma and drama is happening “over there,” and I’m over here helping people. Shouldn’t I be trying to fix the “real” problem, not over here helping the consequences of that problem?
Maybe the real reason I’ve avoided it so much is that it makes me feel like a servant.
But, somehow, it feels so good.
When you know something is right, it’s right, right?
And the Bible also says that to be a master, you must be the servant.
Well, okay then. But how do I combine all these things?
The speech in my head continued to scroll by.
What am I avoiding?
I am missing out on this goal and I will never get there if I keep avoiding the things I “know’ I need to do to get there.
What things?
There are many, but I have a list of 10;
1. Mr. Reis videos — watching and doing the things he describes which generate passive income (ooh, another dissonace, we will need to look into that later).
2. Applying for remote jobs.
3. Settling on an offer (actually Almost done)
4. Sending out offers
5. Alen Oletic — my coach — I am not watching the videos, joining the live calls or doing the exercises
6. Accepting offers of help — especially by Chloe (not her real name) who has asked if she can help me achieve my goals many times.
7. Making and scheduling calls with people and coaches that I knw will get me going in the right direction.
8. FlashApp and Net Neutral Trading App — completing these.
9. Networking.
10. Completing classes, training and doing the exercises.
And that’s just a partial list.
Why am i doing this?
Belief states.
These patterns of behavior are a result of belief states that have been hardwired (literally) into my brain and then reinforced, over and over again, through the years.
Our current reality is a result of the choices we have made.
Each of us has created a perfect image of the reality we believe in as a result of the choices we have made.
Each choice and decision has a result and that result further affirms that our choice and decision was correct which reinforces that the belief those choices and decisions stem from was itself correct, true and accurate.
What a mess!
So how to change it?
2D versus 3D
$10k a day is a two-dimensional goal.
I can’t wrap my head around it — which most likely means I will never achieve it — not by addressing it head on.
10k has no depth to it. It’s just a number on a screen, on a piece of paper. It has no resonance and no “it” to it.
I looked back at the things I have accomplished.
I would envision myself doing that thing I wanted.
I would imagine myself in that place, doing that activity, enjoying that thing, whatever that “thing” may be.
Take love for example.
A few years ago, I decided I wanted to find true love.
And not just any love, but “true love,” that “movie” kind of love that we watch in the theater, on TV and in films.
Possible? Who knows? Who cares? I had a goal and that’s what I wanted.
Maybe it was easier because if I ever doubted what I wanted or lost the idea or concept of the kind of love I wanted, I could always go back and put on or stream the movie that featured the kind of love I was aiming for.
“Movie” love.
It didn’t matter if it was possible or not. I knew what I wanted and I could literally see it -and all the parts of it — whenever I wanted.
So I joined a dating site. Several in fact.
After almost a year, I dropped off the American dating sites and focused on the Asian dating site “Orchid Romance” formerly “Cherry Blossoms,” which had worked for me in the past.
I didn’t have a paid membership, but I had a profile and women were responding to me.
Some women seemed nice, but my profile reach was limited due to having a free membership.
So I reluctantly upgraded to the paid $35 a month membership, which with my restrictive finances meant a slight strain to my lifestyle.
But I figured it was worth it.
In fact, I kinda — sorta — “knew” that if I upgraded, “something” would happen.
It did.
In three months I had met the women of my dreams — and it was — and is — that movie style romance and love you only see in the movies.
And we just passed our two year anniversary.
2D versus 3D, what’s the difference?
A 2D goal has no depth and no resonance to it. It is lifeless, a point in spacetime.
A 3D goal is resonating. It is full of life and moves through time. I can see myself enjoying the goal and different aspects of it, at different points in time and space.
A 3D goal is alive and moves through time.
Perfect.
Sooo?
So. In order to get to $10k a day in 100 days (and time keeps rolling by, today is day 23), I need to convert my static $10k a day two dimensional goal into a dynamic, living, breathing 3D goal.
How do I do that?
Observe what Chris Duncan said: “Money is the metric we use to measure the value we give to others.”
Oprah said something similar. So have many others. It isn’t about the money, it’s about the service and value you bring to others.
Even the Bible says that.
So, getting to $10k a day should be easy, if we (I) just focus on providing valuable content to people.
Right?
I have several offers on the table, plus the FlashApp (a flash loan app) and the Net Neutral Trading App — an app that trades crypto and generates more crypto than the amount you start with.
I know now, after going through all this — that I can measure the goals, my offers, by the value I deliver to others and not the money involved.
Perfect.
Now I just need to refine the offers and start putting them out there.
I don’t want to ‘sell” anyone anything.
I just want to help.
If you got a problem, let me know, maybe I can come up with a solution, maybe not, either way, I’ll let you know.
And, after I have received several testimonials, I will be charging $1k for each solution I deliver, in addition to my premium offers.
My offers are:
1. Wealth Architect Concierge — this will provide a wealth lifestyle experience including a private jet, invitations to select events around the world such as the Oscars, Milan Fashion Show, box seats at the Superbowl, etc. — 12 month concierge services
2. *The Essence Experience — Unveiling Your Secret Passion, Discovering Your Purpose and Finding Your Calling — 3 day weekend workshop
3. *Business Growth Consultant — do for business owners what I did at 1–800-Flowers and T. Rowe Price (2x, 3x, 5x, 10x)
4. Wealth Transformation Experience — 5 day on-site, immersive experience combining The Essence Experience and the Business Growth Consultant
5. *Writer’s Workshop — 3 day weekend workshop for writer’s of all types
6. Self-Defense for Women — 2 day weekend plus ongoing training available
7. Street Self-Defense Course — 2 day weekend teaching “fight-ending” moves and techniques
8. Executive Self-Defense — 1 day plus ongoing training available
9. Security Services — bodyguard services
Of these the starred items are very close to completion and offering.
Plus I have the Flash Loan app — FlashApp and the Net Neutral Trading App. These are also close to being finished.
And in order to push it all across the finish line and meet — or exceed — my $10k a day goal, all I need to do is focus on delivering the content.
So simple!
Let me know what you think. I read all comments.
If you have a problem, of any kind of any type or nature, whether business, financial, social, spiritual, personal, etc, let me know. I may or may not be able to find a solution for you but it never hurts to share with someone else, right?
Just DM me or comment below.
